Dial 911 They Said

It was in kindergarten and I was 5 years old, when we were taught to dial 911. I vaguely remember a retro over-sized plastic phone. We practiced dialing 911. Whenever you are in trouble, whenever someone around you looks like they need help, dial 911. The 9 is on the lower right hand corner with the 1 on the upper left hand corner. 9-1-1. Practice to develop muscle memory. So even if we forgot we'd be able to dial. Dial 911 they said.

At times you hear those feel good stories. How a small kid, a 6 year old or an 8 year old, successfully called 911 when a parent was experiencing a medical emergency or someone broke into the house. How the paramedics or police were able to respond in a timely manner and resolve the situation. You hear those stories and think, "Wow, isn't this a great country. A country where all these different institutions were able to seamlessly work together to ensure the safety of the people." Isn't this a great country where people are able to help each other. A place where the institutions are truly "of the people, by the people, and for the people."

And then 9/11 happened. And everywhere the sign is posted, "If you SEE something, SAY something." On the subway, on the buses and bus stops. "New Yorkers keep New York safe." And I want to be a part of it. I want to keep my fellow New Yorkers, my fellow Americans safe. So when I saw something, I always said something. That STOP sign that had fallen over, or an open hydrant with all the water gushing out, or screams heard in the middle of the night, down the block. I made it my business to call it in. To call 311 and 911 and report it.

August, 24th 2019, an Aurora citizen saw someone wearing a ski mask and flailing around on the street and called 911. That person is me. May 25th, 2020, a grocery store called 911 regarding counterfeit bills. That person is me. June 12th, 2020, a Wendy's employee called 911 regarding a car blocking a drive-through. That person is me. They saw something and called 911. I would have done the same. Dial 911 they said. 

But just....take a look at what happened next. Elijah McClain....dead. George Floyd....dead. Rayshard Brooks....dead.

Dead. Dead. DEAD.

Dial 911 they said.

Oh to go back in time. Oh if only, if only, we could go back in time. Go back in time and not dial 911. I have been told to always call 911. If only I didn't. It was muscle memory to dial 911. If only I didn't. How much do these 911 callers wish they could go back in time and take it back? How much do I wish they could go back in time and take it back? 

I want the world where Elijah McClain wakes up the next day and goes back to playing violin for cats at the shelter. I want the world where George Floyd goes back to work and after the shift ends, walks another employee to their car. I want the world where Rayshard Brooks wakes up Saturday morning and takes his 8 year old daughter skating. Why oh why can't we go back in time and take it back?

Elijah McClain. How do you kill such a beautiful soul? My god, how do you kill him? He played violin for stray cats, for goodness' sake. I consider myself a decent person, but I'm not that good. I'm not a beautiful soul. I'm selfish. I know I am and proudly so. But if it was between me and Elijah. If one had to die for the other to survive. I'd accept that Elijah McClain should live. I'd bear no ill will if I had to die so he could live. He is a beautiful soul. How do you kill him? 

Dial 911 they said. No I cannot. I cannot kill him.

How can I dial 911 again? How can 911 bring me peace of mind again? How can I depend on the police the resolve these everyday problems. It's only a few bad apples, right? I know there are good one's. I know there are police officers with hearts of gold, but I don't want to play Russian roulette with my life. With my fellow New Yorkers and fellow Americans' lives. I don't want to give thoughts and prayers that when I dial 911 it won't be a bad apple who responds. I don't want to play Russian roulette with people's lives.

Let's clean up the few bad apples then. It's only a few, it should be manageable. Let's press the charges, let's overhaul the protocols. It's only a few bad apples after all. But Atlanta police doesn't like that. They call in sick. Patrick Lynch doesn't like that. He said the police will step back. It was only supposed to be a few bad apples, wasn't it? Why is the whole institution resisting progress? Because one bad apple spoils the barrel. The entire institution is rotten.

So if the police go on strike...is that so bad? Won't people be safer then? Won't Black Lives Matter then? ....Perhaps we are onto something here.

Trust is easily broken you know. Because one bad apple spoils the barrel. One bad apple is all it takes. I don't understand why a few bad apples isn't a cause for alarm. Why is it used as an excuse? It is a sign that the entire institution is rotten. 

The entire institution is rotten. Lieutenant Colonel David Grossman's sheepdog mentality. At the core of our rotten police institution. Yes, I was the sheep. Dial 911 they said, and I followed. 

I was the sheep. Not anymore.